Strength comes from the good things.

"Something happens at around 65 miles an hour. The sound of the highway drowns out all sound. Engine vibration travels at a heart's rate. Your field of vision funnels into the immediate, and suddenly, you're not on the road: you're in it and a part of it. Traffic, scenery, cops; all just cardboard cutouts blowing over as you pass. Sometimes I forget the rush of that. It's why I love the long runs, all your problems, all the noise, gone. Nothing else to worry about except what's right in front of you.
Maybe that's the lesson for me today. To hold on the the simple moments, appreciate them a little more. There is not many of them left.
I don't ever want that for you. Finding things that make you happy should not be so hard. I know you will face pain, suffering, hard choices, but you cannot let the weight of it choke the joy out of your life. No matter what, you have to find the things that you love and run to them.
There is an old saying:" That which doesn't kill you, makes you stronger". I don't believe that. I think the things that try to kill you  make you angry and sad. Strength comes from the good things. Family, friends, the satisfaction of hard work. Those are the things that will keep you whole. Those are the things to hold onto when you're broken."

You are what I hold on to, Jolie. The memory of your kiss on my cheek, and your breath on my neck as you slept in my arms. This is what keeps me going through the darkness.

Daddy

The time they are a'changing.

Jolie,
As I sit here today and write this, a lot of new things have happened lately and right now my life is in the midst of a whirlwind. I found out my mother, your grandmother, is alive and well and wants to repair our relationship that was severed unfortunately over forty years ago. I am more than willing to work on this and have readily accepted her back into my life. I do so, because I know how it feels to be alone and have no hope. I also am doing it for you, because you need to know who she is and feel that love she has to offer you. I never want the feeling of being alone for you and so I write these notes so that when you read them you can understand why things happened the way they did. Some things in life we just have no control over, but when the chance comes to right a wrong, make amends, or start over, you should take it and run with it. 
I also have a sister I never knew about so that means you have a brand new aunt and she is very nice. For the past week I have been talking with them over the phone and just building, building, building, our new relationships and clearing the air about all the mystery that has clouded my life for so long. 
I know you'll be turning five this fall and ready to start school, I just hope I can find a way to convince your mother to let me visit with you before that happens. I wish I could take you for ice cream, just like we used to do before all this started. I think about you every day and always picture you in my mind's eye running and playing dress-up, with my clothes that are way too big for you. But you didn't let that stop you from putting on my boots, now did it! :) "I'm going to work with you, Daddy" is what you would say when I asked. Don't worry, work will come too soon for you, but first you'll need to finish college.
I say college because I want to make sure you have that opportunity, which I never had until now. I have a little surprise in store for you concerning that and I wont write about it here just now, but that information will come soon enough. Let's just say that it will be a huge help in the future for you.
In the meantime I am going to keep doing what I am doing and then putting in the work to make things happen. I can't give up on you, because I know you would never give up on me. I am just not made like that. I'll always be here for you and I will never give up on my quest to get you back in my life where you belong. My darling daughter, 
I love you so very much,
Daddy

Break the binding ties.

Dear Jolie,
As I sit here thinking about this note I am reflecting back on our conversation today. You were telling me that you wanted some more things, and I am more than willing to get those things for you: it is part of my job as a Daddy. More than that though, my job is to make sure you are raised right and get the proper instruction, are protected from harm, and things like that. Unfortunately, I can't do most of what I should because there is a huge gulf separating us: the divorce between your mother and I. Apparently it serves as a way for her to use you against me mercilessly by keeping me from visiting you or seeing you. I did get to talk to you today, and I am grateful for that.
I have not been writing here lately because the pain of being separated from you is very intense, so intense that it breaks me, a grown, gruff man, down to the point of tears. Every time I came here I got stalled. I love you just that much.
No more. I have resolved I cannot let that emotion stop me from writing you letters here anymore, no matter how much it pains me. Right now this is the only outlet I have to let you know I am here and that I have not given up the fight for your love, and your presence in my immediate surroundings. You are precious to me, like 'the ring' was precious to Gollum in that crazy movie about the hobbits :)
We are like two peas in a pod, you and I, and I know it and you know it. The connection we have is intangible, and I am not sure if this is what makes your mother so mad, but it sure seems like it. It can't be broken, separated, rubbed out, blasted away, lied on, killed, or forgotten.
When I look into your eyes in my mind's eye it gives me the strength I need to carry on. The first time I laid my eyes on you I sold all my dreams. Every day that passes brings me closer to you. I'm struggling, I'm holding onto my faith, I'm praying, and I am going to find a way to see you again. You can count on it.
I love you more than a fat kid loves cake :) I'll never let you go.
much love, Baby Girl
Daddy